6 replies to this topic

[Sweep]

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?

He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.

Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads.

They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh?

Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.

You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

[TheShipsMast]

LOL beat me too it, was just about to post this myself!

[Slayer]

Is this the script for Rimmers school play?

[Sweep]

[HST_Dominator]

rimmer couldnt write that well or for that amount of time....i set u a challenge, find rimmers longest post on here...i bet its about 2 lines or baby dribble...

[crawly]

freaky... I also got this sent to me today, only modified for a Dub environment...

> So there's this boord called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wha' de fook is
dah?)
>
> She's not married or nuttin', but she's got dis felleh, Joe, righ'? He
does joinery an' all dah. Mary lives with him in a flah dowwen in Nazareh.
>
> One day Mary meets dis yungfelleh Gabriel. She's like `Wha are yeh
bleedin' lookin' ah?" Gabriel just goes "You're fookin' pregnant so yeh
are".
> Mary's scarleh. She gives him a fookin' earful: "Are you bleedin'
startin'? I'm no fookin' sluh. I never bin wih no one!"
>
> So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
>
> Liz is on a mad buzz, bud. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi
Breezers an' all dah. She sez te Mary " Ah howeyeh, Mary, I can feel me
chiseller in me stummick and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all deh
money we'll be getting from deh social." Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're
righ' "
>
> Mary an' Joe haven't goh a fookin' bean so they have to ponse a
donkey, an' go dowwen the Behlehem on dah. Dey get to dis boozer an'
Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her yungfelleh an' all dah.
>
> But there's no fookin' no roohem at the inn, righ'? So Mary an' Joe
break an' into this garridge, only it's filled wih animals. Cowis an'
sheep an' all dah.
>
> Then these three lads tourn up, lookin bleedin' rapih, wih crowens on
der heads an' all dah'. They're like "Ah Jaysis, howeyeh!" an' say dey're
deh tree wise men from de East Wall.
>
> Joe goes: 'If you're so bleedin wiyis, wha de fook are yizzer doin'
wih dis Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why didn't yeh just bring gold, 20 Blue and
boorberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez
he's got anudder message from dis Lord hardchaw.
>
> He's like 'Deh coppers is comin an' they're killin all de chisslers.
You better fook off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be fookin' off yer
bleedin' rocker if yeh tink I'm goin' te fookin' Egypt on a fookin'
donkey'
>
> Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, bud. But it's your look out if yeh stay.'
So they go dowwen teh Egypt till they've stopped killin deh foorst-born an'
all an' annyways it's safe an' dah.
>
> Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazareh, an' Jesus turns water
inteh Dutch Gold.

[HST_Dominator]

xmas spirit is flowing....