Blagger, please can u remove that link mate.... thanks
0
wake up forum
Started by phat-ant, May 31 2006 11:52 AM
164 replies to this topic
#21
-
- [BIATCH-HO]s
-
- 1,059 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Lancashire
#22
-
- [BIATCH]es
-
- 1,173 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
Posted 02 June 2006 - 06:01 AM
Blagger,
Please don't post links to Hardcore Porn. Kids read this forum, and some people read it at work.
A bit of tit is alright, but seeing that old trout from BB getting her kebab pounded is too much
In future, just send the porn to me for (ahem) study
Please don't post links to Hardcore Porn. Kids read this forum, and some people read it at work.
A bit of tit is alright, but seeing that old trout from BB getting her kebab pounded is too much
In future, just send the porn to me for (ahem) study
#23
-
- Guests
Posted 02 June 2006 - 09:53 AM
why its so much better bein male
> > > >Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
> > > >creatures?
> > > >Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take
> > >care
> > > >of
> > > >themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.
>You
> > >can
> > > >never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You
>can
> > > >wear
> > > >NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
>is
> > > >your
> > > >urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
>because
> > > >this
> > > >one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way
>to
> > >turn
> > > >a
> > > >nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
> > > >Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
>chest
> > >when
> > > >you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is
> > >practically
> > > >expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
>all
> > > >the
> > > >time.
> > > >Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
> > > >tanks.
> > > >A five-day vacation ! requires only one suitcase. You can open all
>your
> > >own
> > > >jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>If
> > > >someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
> > > >Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are
>more
> > > >than
> > > >enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
>unable to
> > > >see
> > > >wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
> > >color.
> > > >The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
>shave
> > > >your face and neck.
> > > >You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
> > >big
> > > >hips.
> > > >One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
> > > >You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
>nails
> > > >with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
> > > >mustache..
> > > >You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> > > >minutes.
> > > >No wonder men are happier.
> > > >Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will
>enjoy
> > > >reading it.
> > >
> > > >Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
> > > >creatures?
> > > >Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take
> > >care
> > > >of
> > > >themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.
>You
> > >can
> > > >never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You
>can
> > > >wear
> > > >NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
>is
> > > >your
> > > >urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
>because
> > > >this
> > > >one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way
>to
> > >turn
> > > >a
> > > >nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
> > > >Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
>chest
> > >when
> > > >you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is
> > >practically
> > > >expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
>all
> > > >the
> > > >time.
> > > >Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
> > > >tanks.
> > > >A five-day vacation ! requires only one suitcase. You can open all
>your
> > >own
> > > >jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>If
> > > >someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
> > > >Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are
>more
> > > >than
> > > >enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
>unable to
> > > >see
> > > >wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
> > >color.
> > > >The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
>shave
> > > >your face and neck.
> > > >You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
> > >big
> > > >hips.
> > > >One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
> > > >You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
>nails
> > > >with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
> > > >mustache..
> > > >You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> > > >minutes.
> > > >No wonder men are happier.
> > > >Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will
>enjoy
> > > >reading it.
> > >
#24
-
- [BIATCH-HO]s
-
- 1,483 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Interests:Computers
Posted 02 June 2006 - 10:16 AM
Well it's good to see some pro-men comments Punter, rather than the usual feminist filth that those butch, bra-burning, cock hating..... *continues grumbling for several hours* 
"This thread makes me want to post horse porn" - Dazz99 :wub:
#27
-
- Slags
-
- 320 posts
[BIATCH]Hooker
- Location:on top of yo momma
- Interests:see above
Posted 04 June 2006 - 02:48 PM
haha you dirty perv. just type "lea walker" on yahoo and its about 3 or 4 down.
***WARNING*****WARNING****WARNING
May contain adult material and isnt suitable for younger people. You have been warned. Look at your own risk....blah blah blah blah etc etc etc
***WARNING*****WARNING****WARNING
May contain adult material and isnt suitable for younger people. You have been warned. Look at your own risk....blah blah blah blah etc etc etc
#28
-
- Slags
-
- 1,013 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Caerphilly
Posted 04 June 2006 - 03:11 PM
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling
hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice.
I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the Woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of Having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling
hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice.
I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the Woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of Having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
lemons
#30
-
- [BIATCH-HO]s
-
- 1,059 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Lancashire
Posted 04 June 2006 - 04:42 PM
Haha, nice1
#31
-
- Slags
-
- 1,013 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Caerphilly
Posted 05 June 2006 - 10:53 AM
As a trucker in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde in her car pulls up alongside. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Sharon and you
are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi, my name is Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says
"Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm driving a gritter!"
The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Sharon and you
are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi, my name is Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says
"Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm driving a gritter!"
lemons
#33
-
- Slags
-
- 1,013 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Caerphilly
Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:47 PM
Tony Blair and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Tony told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
About 1 hour later Tony sees his driver staggering back to the car, with a bottle wine in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all ripped and torn.
What happened to you? asked Tony.
Well the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me said the driver.
My god, what did you tell them ?, asks Blair.
The driver replied, "I said I am Tony Blairs driver, and I just killed the pig".
Tony told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
About 1 hour later Tony sees his driver staggering back to the car, with a bottle wine in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all ripped and torn.
What happened to you? asked Tony.
Well the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me said the driver.
My god, what did you tell them ?, asks Blair.
The driver replied, "I said I am Tony Blairs driver, and I just killed the pig".
lemons
#37
-
- [BIATCH-HO]s
-
- 1,059 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Lancashire
Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:16 PM
Haha, now that livened up my boring time at work
#38
-
- Slags
-
- 1,013 posts
[BIATCH]Ho
- Location:Caerphilly
Posted 07 June 2006 - 01:40 PM
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."
lemons
9 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 9 guests, 0 anonymous users
