[phat-ant]

right then, im not sure if anyone else has noticed this but the forum seems to be less chatty at the moment.
everyday you see 20+ poeple looking at it but not enough posters!

so here are some random old rubbishy mildly amusing jokes to pass the time.


A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

[phat-ant]

I am posting this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.

This happened to me at Tesco’s in Dudley and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts.

It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No Thanks' and instead ask you for a ride to Sainsbury’s. You know you shouldn’t but you agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday.

Keep a careful eye out, they may not be there for much longer.

[DeViL_DoG]

lmfaoooooooooooooooooooooo

[phat-ant]

heh vimto it wasnt that funny :P hehe i blame the error code 111 or what ever it is that those last 2 posts

more will follow.

[Katiexx]

haha heard that loads before but still funny


Xx Katie xX

[Darunia]

I keep getting some kinda error too....

[Katiexx]

its quite simple when u get the error dont repost!!!!

it still works u prats...dont u think to check before pressin post again!?


useless


Xx Katie xX

[SellersUK]

i think to check

[Darunia]

its quite simple when u get the error dont repost!!!!

it still works u prats...dont u think to check before pressin post again!?


useless


Xx Katie xX

FYI, it wasn't showing any of the post I had made either...

[phat-ant]

Old couple sitting in church when the wife turns to her husband and whispers "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do??"

The husaband looks at her and replies "get some new batteries for that bloody hearing aid of yours!!!"

[DeViL_DoG]

lmfaooooooooooooooooooo

[Darunia]

[phat-ant]

A guy is drinking at a bar when a drunk stumbles in the door, staggers up to the man, points his grimy finger in his face and shouts "I
just fucked your mother".

The whole bar is silent, expecting a fight, but the guy ignores the drunk. The scot takes a seat at the end of the bar. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy and says, "Your mother gives great head!"

Again, the man ignores the drunk, who wanders off again.

Five minutes later, the drunk is back. "I even fucked her in the ass"

Finally, the man interrups..."Dad! Go home you're drunk!"

[Katiexx]

oh dear me!!! (need a shakes head emoticon but this will have to do)


Xx Katie xX

[Darunia]

[phat-ant]

Best Out of Office Auto Replies:

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system... You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons... When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.

[=@nim@l=]

hahahahaha ahhh how i chuckled

[DeViL_DoG]

lmfaoooooooo